{"id":67,"date":"2005-07-10T19:52:12","date_gmt":"2005-07-10T19:52:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/?p=25"},"modified":"2005-07-10T19:52:12","modified_gmt":"2005-07-10T19:52:12","slug":"april-fools-day-is-coming-early-this-year-obviously","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2005\/07\/10\/april-fools-day-is-coming-early-this-year-obviously\/","title":{"rendered":"April Fools day is coming early this year, obviously."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Kill
\nI was watching Meet The Press on NBC this morning.<\/p>\n

Tim Russert was interviewing Orin Hatch and Charles Schumer, talking about possible appointments to the Supreme Court.<\/p>\n

Everything was going along great, and then Russert asked Hatch about the possibility of \u201cnon-judicial\u201d appointments \u2013 that is, making an appointment of a person who was not a judge to the court.<\/p>\n

Hatch picked it right up. He said something to the effect that the necessity of appointing judges to the judiciary was overblown. All that was necessary, really, was to appoint someone \u201cwho knew what was going on,\u201d and that a great deal of such qualified people existed.<\/p>\n

\u201cPerhaps even within the Senate?\u201d asked Russert.<\/p>\n

Hatch agreed.<\/p>\n

Then Russert asked, \u201cPerhaps you? Would you accept if the President offered it?\u201d<\/p>\n

All puffed up and looking extremely regal, Hatch shrugged and said something to the effect no one could refuse something like that.<\/p>\n

Then they moved on.<\/p>\n

Conventional wisdom has shifted, I see. Based on this, apparently all you need to be a Supreme Court Justice is to \u201cknow what\u2019s going on.\u201d You don\u2019t need to be a lawyer, much less a judge.<\/p>\n

Now that does make sense.<\/p>\n

I mean really, when you think about it, why would you want to know about the law, just to be a Justice? Why confuse the issue with facts? Wouldn\u2019t it be much easier to make a good decision with a fresh mind uncluttered with all those stodgy, confusing details \u2013 like precedents, case law, legal history, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, all those lawyerly sort of confusing, icky, awful things?<\/p>\n

So true!<\/p>\n

And aren\u2019t lawyers really to blame for all the ills of our society? Sure they are.
\nYup, I\u2019m with Shakespeare: \u201cLet\u2019s kill all the lawyers!\u201d Let\u2019s make it so no lawyer is ever appointed as a judge again!<\/p>\n

\"Fool\"
\nHmm\u2026 I\u2019m guessing that Hatch was floating a trial balloon for the Bush administration on this issue \u2013 seeing what kind of support or opposition for the idea existed.<\/p>\n

Well I think it\u2019s a great idea, myself.<\/p>\n

Based on that, I\u2019d like to put out my own nominees for Supreme Court Justice:<\/p>\n

Tim Eyman \u2013 Obviously Tim \u201cknows what\u2019s going on.\u201d A champion of the people (while lining his own pockets), Tim would be great for the job. A consummate liar, he has no judicial knowledge whatsoever, no scruples, no morals, and is basically available to the highest bidder.<\/p>\n

\"idiot\"
\nDan Quayle \u2013 Who better than the former Vice president to be a Justice? Dan boy was a Senator for years and years, and then VP under the Big Bush. He has an intimate knowledge of Washington, so he must \u201cknow what\u2019s going on.\u201d So what if he has an IQ of 46? That\u2019s at least 10 points higher than Dubya, and look how he\u2019s doing! Quayle would be an \u201ceveryman\u2019s\u201d Justice. He can probably get someone to check his spelling when he writes all those silly opinions\u2026<\/p>\n

\"Jeb
\nJeb Bush \u2013 Hey, why not? Dubya\u2019s brother \u201cknows what\u2019s going on\u201d better than almost anyone! Look at what he did on the awful Terri Schiavo case. It was obvious that Terri Schiavo was alive and well and getting ready to make an appearance on Jeopardy when she was ruthlessly killed by her husband. She wasn\u2019t even brain dead! No way. She was just playing possum and Jeb boy knew it! And then look how statesman-like he was when he went to Thailand to help all those poor heathens whose homes were destroyed by the wrath of God (From what he said, if they\u2019d just been smart and accepted Christ as their Savior, the big wave woulda never hit \u2013 heathens are such dummies!).
\n\"Religious
\nPat Robertson \u2013 Now Pat\u2019s been part of the Washington political process for years and years and years. Who better than him would \u201cknow what\u2019s going on?\u201d His presence on the Court would be like a breath of fresh air. We could get rid of all those silly things, like Roe v. Wade, Miranda, the Bill of Rights \u2013 all that trash. And isn\u2019t it about time we had a state religion? You know, \u201c\u2026One nation, under one God, with liberty and justice for just about everybody\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\"George
\nGeorge Herbert Walker Bush \u2013 Dubya? Yeah, sure! He can appoint himself! Who says you can\u2019t serve as President AND Supreme Court Justice at the same time? Think of the money we\u2019d save by combining the positions. And after he changes those silly rules about presidential term limits, he can swear himself in \u2013 and like Idi Amin, be President for Life!<\/p>\n

Who would you like to see as Justice?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was watching Meet The Press on NBC this morning. Tim Russert was interviewing Orin Hatch and Charles Schumer, talking about possible appointments to the Supreme Court. Everything was going along great, and then Russert asked Hatch about the possibility of \u201cnon-judicial\u201d appointments \u2013 that is, making an appointment of a person who was not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-67","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=67"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/67\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=67"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=67"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mikepellegrini.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=67"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}