Spokane, WA (AP) – Perennial candidate for big business, Dino Rossi (R – Spokane), seen at right with his head up his ass, as usual, is off and running again, this time for the US Senate.
Foiled in his two recent attempts to claim the governorship of Washington state, Rossi decided to attempt to capture Patty Murray’s (D – Seattle) Senate seat this time.
“That bitch is going down!” Rossi was heard to have said last week, following a press conference. “All those homo liberals in Seattle are gonna eat their words. They stole the last governor’s election, now we’re gonna make ’em pay!”
Always popular with big business and conservative republicans, Rossi was the number one homeboy for the Building Industry Association of Washington in the last governor’s election. This time for his Senate campaign, he’s branched out and broadened his support to include right-wing religious nuts, greedy millionaires and other fringe lunatics.
Asked what his platform was going to be, if elected, Rossi said, “We’re gonna take the country back for the real Americans – the rich, white, Christian people like me. All those liberal homo assholes are gonna have to move back to California, or something. Yee-ha!”