Spokane (AP) – At a press conference today, perennial candidate for Washington state Governor, Dino “Italian Stallion” Rossi (pictured at right with his head up his ass, as usual), unveiled his new campaign poster for the 2008 race.
The theme of the campaign is that nasty Seattlites stole the last election, by demanding ballot recounts. The actual text of the new sign, is, “Dino Rossi for Governor – Don’t let Seattle Steal This Election.” Billboards featuring the ads have popped up all over the state – except around the Seattle area, of couse.
When asked about the negative connotations of the new billboards, Rossi said, “I’m just tellin’ it like it is. That bitch stole the last race. I shoulda been Gov, not her.” When asked to amplify what he meant, Rossi continued, “It’s all them Seattle assholes that got her elected and that’s really fucking unfair to the farmers and the good righteous conservatives that make up this great right-wing, Christian state.” He went on to add, “All those gay, Seattle assholes oughta move to Commie-fornia or something and leave us God-fearing Christians alone. I’m gonna smoke that bitch’s ass. Fuck me blue!”
In a prepared statement, Governor Gregoire responded suggesting the public might better be better served by a candidate that didn’t have his head up his ass. She asked that this coming election should focus on today’s important issues like the home mortgage crisis and the price of gas, and that the lame rhetoric from the last campaign be buried and forgotten – which is where it belongs.
In a late breaking development at press time, it’s reported that a large group of several thousand people gathered tonight at Seattle Center and burned a likeness of Dino Rossi in effigy. Reportedly, vendors there were also doing a lansdlide business selling Dino “Italian Stallion” Rossi voodoo dolls as well.
Said Rossi about the voodoo dolls, “Well fuck me blue!”
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